oh you silly boys..

I'm posting this at the risk of getting into some slight trouble, but fine don't read it.


6 years and one day ago today I became your girlfriend. I always doubted it, as I have always been a pessimist in the relationship department. Partly my fault due to lack of confidence, and I blame some on a horrible divorce. For the life of me I cannot figure out what in the fuck I was holding onto for six years. Six fucking years. I'm using 6 years very losely because there were all sorts of breaks, but yes, I was always holding onto that little tiny bit of hope regardless of how I felt about someone else, until very recently. The only thing that I can come back to is the way I would lay there unable to move on my own aside from the trembles due to sheer pleasure after you would eat me out like you were made to do it. If you could have been paid for that you would have been a millionaire by now. And your image got me a little bit too.

But 6 years and one day later, I have a new boyfriend and I had a new boyfriend before that, you just never knew, no one really knew, and that was both of our faults. I never took you to be a liar, especially to my face, but I should have known because you are, after all is said and done, just a boy. Oh, and I did the same. New boyfriend is a good boyfriend. He calls me pretty girl more often then he calls me by my own name, brought me breakfast in bed, but isn't afraid to get down. He isn't afraid to be apart of my life and my family. Nearly every morning I wake up to him telling me I'm so cute and he kisses me, except this morning he told me to suck it because I left to go to work. But that was okay because it was funny and he was half asleep, and unknowingly he sent me to work with a smile on my face.

Old boyfriends, thank you for ruining my head but loving me in two entirely different ways, because this has helped to shape me into the person that I am today and the person that I will become. While I am still a little skeptical about relationships, boyfriend understands and without me saying so he understands that I have been let down a lot, by people I never really should have been let down by(not just bfs). He hasn't walked away yet, even when he showed up and I was wearing cowgirl boots, even with my issues regarding blankets, and even though I move a million billion trillion times a night.

Boyfriend, if you read this, hi! I like you!

I hope that old boyfriends are happy, because regardless of how we ended, they are great people in their own ways and I think they deserve the best. Honestly.