some days you need to know that you still got what your mama gave ya, or whatever.
my mom really didn't give me anything, genetically speaking..
but all i'm sayin' is regardless of if you are single, happily married, divorced, like your boyfriend more than you wanted to or thought you would because you wake up to him calling you a princess or telling you that you are beautiful every morning, a swinger, a whore, whateva, it feels damn good to be noticed by a random boy jogging down the street, and a good looking one at that.
army boy, you made my day.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
...
I feel an immense amount of guilt.
I viewed a picture of an 11 year old boy, he skateboards, bikes, has the tough outer shell that an eleven year old boy should have, except when you push him to get into freezing Pacific Ocean water. In his face you can view his emotions, and while I can't exactly put my finger on what emotion it is, it was one that not filled with joy. I forget how hard his life has been, how much of a front that hard exterior is. How much he is only 11 years old and not as tough and manly he acts.. because he is only 11..almost 12. I forgot, if only for a moment, that is mom is in jail, on her way to prison for possession of crystal meth, and this was going on when they were sleeping in their beds at night.
I forgot that his Dad yells at him to bring his shit inside when he has been home for 20 seconds and for no reason lashes out. I almost forgot how bad I want to steal his(and his sister's) pain because for a day and a half they were or acted unappreciative, and most likely they don't even know how to appreciate little things.
I feel guilt because I wouldn't have gone in the water and we called him a sissy, and honestly at that age, and probably even now I wouldn't have gone in either if people were pressuring me. Water so cold you can hardly breathe is really not enjoyable.
I viewed a picture of an 11 year old boy, he skateboards, bikes, has the tough outer shell that an eleven year old boy should have, except when you push him to get into freezing Pacific Ocean water. In his face you can view his emotions, and while I can't exactly put my finger on what emotion it is, it was one that not filled with joy. I forget how hard his life has been, how much of a front that hard exterior is. How much he is only 11 years old and not as tough and manly he acts.. because he is only 11..almost 12. I forgot, if only for a moment, that is mom is in jail, on her way to prison for possession of crystal meth, and this was going on when they were sleeping in their beds at night.
I forgot that his Dad yells at him to bring his shit inside when he has been home for 20 seconds and for no reason lashes out. I almost forgot how bad I want to steal his(and his sister's) pain because for a day and a half they were or acted unappreciative, and most likely they don't even know how to appreciate little things.
I feel guilt because I wouldn't have gone in the water and we called him a sissy, and honestly at that age, and probably even now I wouldn't have gone in either if people were pressuring me. Water so cold you can hardly breathe is really not enjoyable.
Friday, April 3, 2009
:)
I don't want this to drag on..
so just know that should you ever fall I'll be there to catch you, should you run out of strength, I'll be yours, and should you ever need to lean on me, I'll be there. I won't stray, and won't let you down.
I envy you for your strength and your ability to keep your head held high. I wouldn't be able to.
I truly treasure the time we have spent together, the way you make me laugh until I cry, the conversations that have been held, the times that have been spent saying nothing at all, but they still seem to speak in volumes. The way you cuddle with my doggy, and let Bart inside. The fact that you don't care where I've been or what I've done, and the way that you know my deepest secrets but that doesn't cause you to hold back, you seem to only care where I'm going.
Just know I'll be here should you ever need a friend, or a girlfriend, or both.
so just know that should you ever fall I'll be there to catch you, should you run out of strength, I'll be yours, and should you ever need to lean on me, I'll be there. I won't stray, and won't let you down.
I envy you for your strength and your ability to keep your head held high. I wouldn't be able to.
I truly treasure the time we have spent together, the way you make me laugh until I cry, the conversations that have been held, the times that have been spent saying nothing at all, but they still seem to speak in volumes. The way you cuddle with my doggy, and let Bart inside. The fact that you don't care where I've been or what I've done, and the way that you know my deepest secrets but that doesn't cause you to hold back, you seem to only care where I'm going.
Just know I'll be here should you ever need a friend, or a girlfriend, or both.
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